Becoming a monk
Doing a silent retreat with monks who've taken a vow of silence, and timeless wisdoms from the Desert Monks on how to kill your ego.

A few weeks ago, I completed one of my yearly silent retreats at Abbaye de Saint-Benoît-du-Lac. I finally managed to get a spot after calling them every year since 2019.
Soon after some available dates, I mentioned my plans to a friend who excitedly wanted to join the silent retreat. So I immediately booked two spots. Then we drove for 3/4 hours to spend the next few days in total silence. My silent retreat, however, was interrupted a few times. I address this in the episode below.
While at the Abbey I went through multiple books. One of them was Thomas Merton’s Wisdom from the Desert (and the episode above is on this).
It’s an excellent book for any person interested in developing their contemplative life. With a caveat that it’s neither a manual nor “philosophical” or “theological” in the way you think. But it certainly contains more wisdom than most philosophy, theology, and manual books. And true philosophy is a friend-lover of wisdom.
*** One quick thing. This coming Saturday I’m sending out my most in-depth writing on my substack to date. It’s on the revival of beauty and symbolism in art (titled, “Beyond Modern Nihilism: The revival of symbolism and beauty in art”). Because of the length of the post, the whole thing cannot fit into an email… So you’ll have to click “View entire message” on your email to read it in full. And, finally, I am announcing something at the end of Saturday’s post. See you then!
Lessons from Monks and Merton
Cross the abyss that lies within yourself. What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves? This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not only useless but disastrous. The great travellers and colonizers of the Renaissance were, for the most part, men who perhaps were capable of the things they did precisely because they were alienated from themselves. In subjugating primitive worlds they only imposed on them, with the force of cannons, their own confusion and their own alienation.
Don’t be filled with pride. Abbot Pambo questioned Abbot Anthony saying: What ought I to do? And the elder replied: Have no confidence in your own virtuousness. Do not worry about a thing once it has been done. Control your tongue and your belly.
The over-intellectual man is no different than the fool who refuses to learn. If you have a chest full of clothing, and leave it for a long time, the clothing will rot inside. It is the same with the thoughts in our hearts. If we do not carry them out by physical action, after a long while they will spoil and turn bad
You may not be a monk, but you can meditate and do the rest. An Elder said: Here is the monk’s life-work, obedience, meditation, not judging others, not reviling, not complaining.
Understand that your whole life is a meditation. And once apprehended you must live accordingly. A certain elder said: Apply yourself to silence, have no vain thoughts, and be intent in your meditation, whether you sit at prayer, or whether you rise up to work in the fear of God. If you do these things, you will not have to fear the attacks of the evil ones.
True love is dying to oneself only to be resurrected with the other. It is hard to really love others if love is to be taken in the full sense of the word. Love demands a complete inner transformation—for without this, we cannot possibly come to identify ourselves with our brother. We have to become, in some sense, the person we love. And this involves a kind of death of our own being, our own self. No matter how hard we try, we resist this death: we fight back with anger, with recriminations, with demands, with ultimatums. We seek any convenient excuse to break off and give up the difficult task.
Till next week,
Peace!